


A United Beat

by sunkissedmorning



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Discovery, F/M, First Time Blow Jobs, Insomnia, New Relationship, Reconciliation, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 11:09:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13902771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkissedmorning/pseuds/sunkissedmorning
Summary: A memory of discovery and an attempt to find it again.





	A United Beat

They spend the morning after basking in early sunshine and endless skin. They discover marks on each other’s bodies they didn’t have time for the night before, careful to avoid the bruises and injuries from DC, and it turns into storytelling.

Kurt tells Jane about his own tattoo (“I’d wanted it for awhile but there might have been an unhealthy amount of alcohol involved.”) and traces his favorite of hers with his tongue, which only causes Jane to giggle when his beard tickles the sensitive skin of her neck.

Jane’s used to her body being under scrutiny and enjoys Kurt under the microscope for once.

She traces a finger down his ribs, trying not to tickle but intent on touching the soft skin.

“This one?”

“Training accident,” he grins. “You know those rope courses we all have to do? I got a little over confident helping someone and paid the price.”

Jane bends down to apply soft kisses on the long scar. “I’d imagine most, if not all, were in the service of others.”

Kurt turns to wrap her in his arms and rolls them over, Jane tight against his chest. “And yours are no different. Especially, this one.” Kurt’s mouth finds the bullet graze on Jane’s left bicep.

“I don’t know,” she says softly. “That one’s up for debate.”

“What do you mean?”

Jane runs her hand over Kurt’s scrunched brow, hoping to soothe his confusion.

“Just that I’d just come outta that bag and into your life. I don’t know that I was in the service of anyone. It’s more like I got hurt causing a lot of trouble.”

“Or you got hurt being stubborn and refusing to stay in the car.”

Jane laughs against Kurt’s cheek before stealing a kiss and turning them over. He braces his elbow against the bed and stares adoringly down at Jane.

“I never thought I’d hear you laugh about how and why we met.”

Jane’s face falls, “Is that bad? I’m sorry. Should we talk about it? God, Kurt, I can’t excuse any of it. I’m not her. Or maybe I am. Sometimes I don’t know how to reconcile it all...”

Kurt silences her with kisses, his mouth swallowing her doubts. “There is nothing to apologize for, Jane. It will do us no good to dwell on Remi. I didn’t know her. I don’t love her. And she’s not currently naked in my bed.”

“You can forgive me just like that?”

“It hasn’t been just like that. You know it’s taken us time. But there is nothing to forgive when it comes to the decisions Remi made.”

“I am Remi.”

“You’re Jane. We’ve had this conversation endless times. You’re Jane,” he whispers as he inches closer to her mouth. “You’re Jane Doe. You’re a blank slate, a newborn, a newly created star in the sky. You are whoever you choose to be.”

Jane allows the kisses, even while doubting the sentiment behind them.

“And I will love whoever you choose.”

“Kurt, you can’t...”.

“I can and I do. Let me, Jane. Let me, for once in my life, take what I want free of doubt.”

Jane’s teeth tug on her lower lip. “Are you choosing a new life?”

“Yes, you’ve taught me that much. I choose a life that I’m not afraid of. Most importantly, I choose you. If you’ll have me.”

“Of course, I will.”

Reverently, Jane strokes Kurt’s beard, slides her hands over his imperfect ears, and crawls out of his arms to scoot back on her knees.

“Will you let me try something? I’ve never, well, I don’t have any memory of doing it.”

Kurt takes Jane’s previous spot, stretching out on the bed with one hand curved under his head. “Jane, you can do whatever you want to me. But you don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”

“That’s just it. I do want it. I’m afraid to ask and maybe afraid to want it.”

Kurt gently takes Jane’s hand in his as she keeps her distance. “Then talk to me. We’ll talk it out. And if you’re still scared, we’ll talk about it some more. Maybe later, after you’ve had time to think about it. We have all the time in the world, Jane. There is no rush.”

“Would you, would you let me put my mouth on you?” Jane’s cheeks go crimson against her pale skin. “Would you let me suck you?”

Kurt reaches for Jane to pull her into his arms but she scoots further away. “Please, come here,” he begs. “I need to kiss you.”

“I need an answer,” she looks into his eyes determined.

“God, of course, Jane. I’d never deny you that. I’d never deny you something I want, too.”

“I don’t know what to do. I mean, I do,” she stammers. “I’ve seen things.”

“You have? Tell me, what have you seen?” Kurt teases. “And what were you doing while you were seeing it?”

Jane rolls her eyes. “That’s not the point. Focus.”

“Jane...”

“Really. Just consider it. I have no idea what I’m doing. Not really. There was Oscar. And I’m sure you don’t want to hear this...”

“You can tell me anything.”

“...but he knew my body. Knew what I’d done and was capable of. In some ways, I was just along for the ride.”

Kurt starts to sit up, a frown forming.

“No, no. I know that look. That’s not what I meant.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, I promise,” Jane runs a hand down Kurt’s cheek to soothe his fears. “It was all consensual. I wanted him. But I don’t know that I chose much. And since I’m starting off this new life, I thought I’d try something new. With you.”

“You can try whatever you want with me. I want it all with you, Jane. I assure you. I’ll help you find what you like.”

“And if I like something that you don’t?”

“I don’t know how that’s possible but if it happens, we’ll talk about it.”

“You’re really into this communication idea, huh?” Jane smirks.

Kurt reaches for her again but succeeds this time in wrapping her in his arms. “I’m serious when I say I’m starting new, too.” Kurt gently rubs his nose against Jane’s. “I have no walls with you,” he whispers. “You’ve decimated them. I’m all yours.”

Jane pulls back a bit and tugs on her lip again, “That’s a lot you’re offering.”

Kurt twists his mouth in concentration, “Is it too much? Am I opening up too much too soon?”

“I don’t know,” she whispers. “I don’t have much of a frame of reference but I know I’m really happy. You make me happy. You could tell me anything and I’d want to know more. And,” Jane blushes, despite already being naked in his arms, “I feel safe telling you anything.”

“You can, Jane. I want to know it all. And if you don’t know, I will help you discover it.”

“Are we still talking about sex?”

Kurt laughs deeply and kisses Jane quickly. “I meant about anything but definitely when it comes to sex.”

“So you’d let me?” Jane looks up at him with eager eyes.

“Yes! You can touch me. Kiss me. Lick me. Spend hours staring at it, if you want.”

Jane giggles before covering her face with her hands. “Is this what it’s like for teenagers to discover sex?”

“What do you know about teenage sexuality?”

“Only what tv tells me.”

“Well, I don’t know. I don’t think I could have ever had this kind of conversation with a girl when I was a teenager. There was definitely a lot of fumbling around. And a lot of trial and error. But there wasn’t the love and trust I feel right here.”

Jane melts in his arms, wrapping a hand around his head as she kisses him deeply. “Then lay back,” she whispers as she eases him down on the bed. “You’ll tell me if I do something wrong or something you don’t like?”

“Yes,” he breathes out, tipping his head back and exposing his neck. Jane runs a tentative hand down his chest to his thigh. Kurt is hard. It’s not a new site but her chest swells at the thought she caused that.

Her hand curls around his length, stroking him slowly, mimicking his actions from the night before.

“This is ok?” she asks quietly.

“Yes.”

Jane picks up speed and lies down to settle closer to her task at hand. She moves in to taste him, a quick suck at the smooth head. She hears Kurt take in a deep breath but continues on. She takes him fully in her mouth, more aware of his scent than any other time she’s known him. This is intimacy. Knowing something that maybe even Kurt doesn’t. Having full control of him. Seeing him at his most vulnerable. It’s a heady thought and she glances up to see Kurt’s face. His head is still tilted back, the bones and veins in his neck straining against the skin. Jane wishes she could kiss him there, maybe lavish a few gentle bites. In that moment, she wants everything with him. Wants to give him all the pleasure in the world. Wants to always feel this invincible.

As Jane’s mouth slows, Kurt lowers his head. Upon making eye contact, he groans and takes in a deep breath through his nose.

“I can’t,” he mutters. “You’re too much.”

Jane releases him from her mouth. “What did I do?”

“No, Jane. It’s good. It’s too good. This is my dirty little fantasy. Those beautiful green eyes watching me while you’ve got my cock in your mouth.”

“Oh,” she blushes but takes him in again and bobs her head up and down like she’s seen women do.

Jane started this exercise curious. Curious as to the taste and weight of him on her tongue. Curious as to how Kurt would respond to the act. To her. But quickly her curiosity turns prurient. Jane feels like a goddess holding the heart of him. Can’t stop rubbing her thighs together, intent on easing the ache she feels in her core.

“Careful,” he bites out. “Careful with the teeth.” Jane doesn’t acknowledge him but takes him deeper in her throat to keep him away from her bite. Kurt gasps and reaches for her, gets a hand tangled in her black locks.

With her hands free, Jane explores. She runs her hands over his thighs, the curve of his ass. She lifts one of his legs to plant his foot on the bed so she can stroke the inside of his thigh. It’s then that she feels the knot of scar tissue behind his leg. She doesn’t stop sucking but she does look over to see the scar. It’s well healed over and Jane reminds herself to ask him about it later.

“Jane, Jane, Jane,” he chants. “Can I come in your mouth? Is that something you want to try? I can, oh god,” he groans. “I can come in your hand or on my stomach. But I’m gonna come soon, sweetheart.”

Jane doesn’t respond. Doesn’t move her mouth off him. Instead, she’s spurred on and increases her efforts, hollowing her cheeks to suck him harder. Kurt lets go of her hair and fists the sheets. His chest expands and his head tilts back as he empties down Jane’s slender throat.

They both take a moment to catch their breaths, Jane’s head resting on Kurt’s thigh.

“You ok?” she asks after a few beats.

Kurt raises his head a bit to look down at her. “Shit. That was, that was...intense.”

Jane crawls up his body to settle herself in his arms.

“Yeah, for me, too.”

“Are you ok?” Kurt tucks her tussled hair behind her ear. “I know you were nervous to ask but you definitely didn’t act nervous doing. Were you comfortable with it?”

“It made me feel powerful.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You were at my mercy. I liked having that control over you. But more, I liked making you feel good, knowing I could do that for you.”

“You can do that for me anytime.”

“Good. I have ideas.”

“Like what?”

“Like the shower. I think I’d like to suck you on my knees in the shower while you’re all wet.”

“God, Jane,” he groans. “You’ll kill me.”

“I thought you wanted me to discover?”

“I do. I absolutely do. Gimme a sec to recover. I’m not a teenager anymore.”

“I didn’t mean I wanted to do it right now.”

“I know but hearing those words come out of your mouth does things to me. And I’m a little spent right now.”

“It’s ok. Take a break,” Jane stage whispers to Kurt’s soft penis.

Kurt laughs before kissing Jane’s temple and holding her tight to his chest.

“Um, I noticed something while I was down there,” Jane says without looking up, absently running her fingers through the smattering of hair on his broad chest.

“Oh yeah? What was that?”

“I found another scar. On the back of your leg.”

“Yeah, that one. Shrapnel. First year in the Bureau.”

With that, Jane does look up. “What happened?”

“I guess it explains why I train with the bomb squad so much. I’m forever trying to get revenge on the first bomb that got me.”

“Were you ok?” Jane ghosts her hand over the scar.

“My partner at the time, Don, used my belt as a tourniquet to stop the bleeding before we got backup.”

“Don?”

“Yeah.”

“I guess I don’t know much about your career before SIOC. Or your life, really.”

“None of it matters, Jane. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know. But nothing matters before you came outta that bag.”

“My starting point,” Jane whispers and covers Kurt’s heart with her hand.

“Our starting points,” he replies before moving in to soundly kiss her.

Jane shakes her head and rubs her eyes, attempting to dust off the haze the memory caused.

She looks around the quiet apartment, streetlights shining into the living room and covering it in shadows. Another sleepless night led her to the couch covered under a blanket while she mindlessly surfed nature documentaries on Amazon Prime. She’d hoped one would soothe her to sleep but the ambient documentary of white-tailed deer in New England reminded her of finding Kurt and his partner Up State just a few days ago. Jane’s mind had wandered and now she’s left with a myriad of emotions.

“Still trouble sleeping?” Kurt asks from the hallway.

Jane turns her head and blushes. “Um, yeah.”

He joins her on the couch and picks up the remote. “What are we watching?”

“Um, just something I thought would knock me out.”

“You ok?” Kurt runs a hand down Jane’s knee.

“I...um...”

“What?”

“I was just sitting here thinking.”

“About Avery? It’s just going to take some time. Don’t give up yet.”

“Thanks. But actually, I was thinking about Don.”

“Don?”

“Yeah, we didn’t really talk about you working with him again.”

Kurt smiles softly. “It was ok. He and I had a chat in the hospital. Got a few things off our chest several years after we should have.”

Jane returns Kurt’s smile but looks down again. “I’m glad to hear that. I was thinking about when you told me about him.”

Kurt slowly slides his arm around Jane. She reluctantly leans into him, still unsure of their boundaries.

“Did I tell you about the time we went undercover in Reno?”

Jane laughs, “Yeah, I remember that story.” She bites her lip before continuing, “I was actually thinking about the morning after we first got together. When I found the scar on your leg.”

Kurt looks down at Jane confused. “What made you think of that?”

“You know, stream of consciousness. This stupid documentary got me thinking about you stuck in the woods, which made me think of Don. Which, strangely, took me back to the first time I went down you.”

“Woah, Jane,” Kurt’s eyebrows shoot up. “No wonder you couldn’t fall back asleep.”

Jane can’t stop her blush. “I know. I know things are still a little awkward. And I’m not suggesting we try for more than either is ready for. I just want you to know,” Jane looks up at him with honest eyes, “I do still want you. I want to be open with you again. With my heart and my body.”

“I want that, too, Jane. There’s no rush.”

“You’ve forgiven me? For leaving? For Clem?”

“I’m working on it,” Kurt briefly looks away. “I mean, I have. I’ve got some things to work through, too.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve just been thinking about what I did. What is it about me that made you leave? Made you stay away? Made you turn to someone else? Obviously, I know why you left this time. And I understand why you turned to Clem to find Avery. It all would’ve been very different if I’d been honest with you earlier.”

“Kurt...”

“I just, I meant it when I said I can’t survive you leaving again, Jane. And if there’s something I can change to make sure that doesn’t happen, I need to know. I need to know how to keep you.”

Jane opens her mouth to respond but abandons the words on her tongue.

“I’m sorry. That’s unfair to ask. Especially in the middle of the night,” Kurt whispers.

“Kurt...”

“It’s ok, Jane. I shouldn’t keep you up. You need rest. I’ll head back to bed. Maybe make some tea or put on a black and white movie. I always fall asleep to those.”

He kisses the top of her head and strokes her cheek softly before getting up from the couch.

Kurt is halfway to the guest bedroom before Jane calls out, “Would you hold me?”

“What?” he turns around but doesn’t walk back.

“I always fell asleep quickly in your arms. It’s one thing I haven’t tried. That is, if you’re comfortable with it.”

“We could try that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Jane, I always want to hold you. I always want you next to me. But I need you to want it, too.”

“I do. I miss you. I miss us.”

“Then come to bed.”

Jane turns off the tv and joins Kurt in the hallway.

“Yours or mine?” Kurt asks her, pointing to the bedrooms.

“It’s your bed, too. Come back, Kurt,” Jane whispers and grabs his waist. It dawns on her that it’s the first time she’s initiated any intimate contact with him since she’s been back.

Kurt takes Jane’s face in his hands and kisses her. Jane’s heart swells and she grips his sides harder. She pushes into the kiss and Kurt introduces his tongue. Before Jane can say something cheesy and regrettable, Kurt picks her up and carries her into their bedroom. Jane hides her face in his neck, the memories of having him all too present.

They settle in bed, legs and arms curled around each other. Jane is genuinely exhausted, physically from work, mentally from Avery.

As if reading her mind, Kurt whispers, eyes closed in an attempt to fall asleep, “There’s no rush, Jane. We’ll get there. What’s important is that we both want it.”

Jane sighs but kisses his chest over his T-shirt and buries herself deeper into his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Anaïs Nin, Delta of Venus.  
> “Only the united beat of sex and heart together can create ecstasy.”
> 
> So this started as a way to explain why Jane already knew about Kurt’s old FBI partner in 3x12 and turned into sex. S. E. X. Which then turned into a fic featuring about three other ideas I’ve had in my head for awhile. Which then turned into an attempt to get into current Jane’s head. I suppose it could be set shortly after 3x13 unless Nas’ information totally screws the timeline.


End file.
